Sunday, July 21, 2013

MARRIAGE SUNDAY June 2, 2013

          SERMON ON MARRIAGE    June 2, 2013
You know there are lots and lots of opinions and thoughts about  the hot topic of marriage.  But recently some children were asked what their opinions, and here is what they said:

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?  Alan, aged 10 said, “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
Derrick, age 8, “ You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Lori, age 8, “ Both don't want any more kids.”

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?  Anita, age 9, It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.


You know, it seems to me that marriage, at its best, can raise our hearts up to heaven; and at its worst, it can shatter those same hearts.   Heck, how to make a marriage work is hard enough, but our society cannot even decide what marriage is!!!  From my perspective, all the recent pontificating & and contention about marriage can be best understood by looking at the basic definition of marriage, which is underlies the whole debate.  Is marriage a divinely created and ordered relationship, or is it  socio-cultural created and ordered by human beings?
The three great religions of the world : Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, believe that marriage wais divinely created and ordered as  a lifelong union between a man and a woman, that they might share in the promise of marriage, as designed by God.
You see, what many non believers do not understand, is that the  divine design and love needed for  a successful marriage  only comes from God.   To redefine marriage in secular terms, in opposition ot God’s Word, is to ensure marriage failure. Nor, are Human beings are not  capable  of such love, over the long haul of a lifelong commitment.  Such love is divinely imparted by God  when a couple receive his blessing as they exchange vows, trusting that God will empower and sustain them.  God  To unintentionally or intentionally exclude God from the marriage, is to deny the depth of love necessary for marriages to prosper and succeed.
To be honest, we Americans have trouble with “Love,” because the word is thrown around so loosely.  Some of you have heard this before, but since love is so confusing, it bears repeating.
·       I love pizza.  I love my country.  I love my fiancĂ©.  I love my children.  I love my grandma.   I love my friend.  Certainly, I do not love pizza in the same manner that I love grandma, nor do I love my fiancĂ© in the same way I love my children.
Some of the confusion about love is caused by the fact that in English, we have one term, “love,” which describes a variety of different  “love” experiences.   Indeed, secular culture’s definition of love  isa pale imitationof love as desiogned by our creator.

Actually, the Greeks have 4 different  words for love:.
·       “Eros,”  which means romantic love.
·       The lives of their children.“Philia, “ which means brotherly love or friendship
·       “Storge,”  which means the love of family;
·       And “AGAPE”--love, which is committed, self sacrificing love.

Agape-love, where you choose to love someone so much, that you put his or her interests and well-being and happiness above your own.

S vital for the survival and prospering of a marriage?  All 4 are important; but romantic love, or Eros, without sacrificial love, agape, will not last. Agape- love  is not all about me, but directed towards  you.  That’s why God , in his infinite wisdom, decided to create a setting for romance to grow and to become infused with agape-love.
·       And within this sacred commitment, married women and men   are free to love and to trust and to depend—because they both have  made a solemn vow to continue loving one another, no matter  what. 
·       And that, is real marriage….where vows mean something, and both parties choose to love one another by honoring their vows and promises.

Of course, the sad reality is that not all marriages fulfill God’s plan.  When agape love is missing form one or both partners, then trauma , betrayal, disappointment, and sorrow may follow. 

For all its brokenness, however, my guess is that each of you knows of one or more marriage which has fulfilled the God- given promise of agape love.  Today, following the sermon, there are  7 couples who are going to publicly reaffirm their marriage vows.  By doing so , they gave giving  honor and thanks to God and each other.    Last night,  I met with them all and  asked them to identify one way that God has blessed them through the love of their spouse.  

 ·       Everyone spoke of the blessings of children and grandchildren, and extended families.
But, then the discussion took a more intimate  turn, as they said such things as
·       He is someone that I can always count on.”
·       His love of me has strengthened my love of God.”
·       “He’s hoped me to become a better person.”
·       “Always loving; always my friend.”
·       “He helps me to get through the hard times. By working together, we’re not just two people, we’re more like 3.”
·       She has helped bring balance to my life.”
·       And finally, “He makes me laugh.”
That was a very moving conversation; and it made me think how happy I am that today, all of us can share in this celebration of Love.
That, is the way that God agape-loves you and me.  Lets’ look at question # 3 in your sermon notes: As designed by the creator of the universe, all relationships , romantic, family, friends, are better and more lasting when both parties practice agape-love. Agape-love is patient and kind.  It is not self-seeking.  It keeps no record of wrongs.  Agape-love will never end,   all other things in life, and all relationships without agape-love, will fade away.

Church is meant to be a school to learn how to love, because God is agape-love.  This love is intended for all people, whether you are married or not. Jesus -- agape-loved us all  by laying down his life that we might be forgiven and loved by God.

So on this day of love, let’s remember the Prayer of the King of Love,  that  the whole world would know that we are His disciples, because of the way we love one another. 

---The Rev. John Donnelly
 

THE TRINITY: God the Father brings life, God the Son brings loyalty,and God the Spirit shines the Light of love into a dark world

                                 May 26, 2013   Christ Church Quaker Farms

Before today’s gospel, we recited the words to a song called, “St. Patrick’s Breastplate,” which is one of my favorites.  Years ago my family and I hiked up the Irish mountain, Croah Patrick, and there on the summit we sang this song. I so admire St. Patrick, that I named my son after him.  At great personal danger to himself, he brought Christianity to the Celts of Ireland.  
Looking at the cover of your bulletin, Patrick was passionate about our one God, who has expressed himself in a trinity of manifestations: Father, Son & Holy Spirit.  Patrick taught  then, as I teach you now—that the trinity is the heart of Christianity, revealing the life, the loyalty, and the light of God .

To the ignorant and uneducated, the  Christian church may appear to be like other educational & charitable institutions.  From all the sexual scandals ,  conflicts,  and tribulations, the Church may appear to be an immoral, decaying, and irrelevant dinosaur, sinking into the sands of time.  But the truth is that the Church can be the outward expression of the three greatest superheroes of all time: the Trinity.
Ad Patrick expressed so well in his song,  God the Father is the creator of life—all life and the universe in which He placed it.  In our creeds, we declare that God the Father is the maker of heaven and earth.  However life in the universe began, we declare that life is of divine origin.
·       As some of you may know, I am preparing to become a grandfather.
How much more do I know about life, than I did when my daughter, Anna, the new mother in waiting, was born.  I learned that life is truly a mystery, yet it can be gloriously surprising, and horribly sad.  I learned that life needs to be protected, and loved, and nurtured.  I learned how souls can be connected, even in the midst of adolescent rebellion. 
 A late president of Yale , Arthur Whitney Griswold, once wrote, quote, The divine spark leaps from the finger of God to the finger of Adam, whether it takes ultimate shape in a law of physics or a law of the land, a poem or a policy, a sonata or a mechanical computer.

So God the Father is life—and the church ought to be where we can come to experience that life as share it, together, with one another:
We see God’s life manifest here at CCQF, in so many ways—
·       in the sincerity of prayer , alone, or with our Healing Ministry
·       in compassion reaching out to those in need
·       by listening to children tell their stories in Sunday School & Youth Group
·        and by telling our stories in small groups;
·       Brining refreshments to share
·       By greeting old friends and visitors
·       By offering a spiritual refuge in a crazy world
·       By welcoming someone back to church, who has been lost, and then who finds home.
Just as my daughter is not just a human body, nor is the church just a building, because they both have life from God.

God the Son’s love is expressed through loyalty and fidelity.  Jesus was loyal and faithful to us, even when it meant death on the cross.  And now as the Risen Lord, He has bequeathed to us the power to be faithful and loyal. Even during hard times.   Next Sunday, at least 7 couples will renew their martial vows here.  It will be a lovely occasion.  But these couples have learned what my daughter is now learning in her 2 year old marriage: Marriages are built and sustained by  the bonds of mutual fidelity and loyalty—through the challenges and hardships that arise, and during the trials which may go on year after year after year.   It is a privilege to know so many of you who show us the truth of that lesson through your loyalty and fidelity in your families.
Likewise, the Christian church needs to be a place of loyalty and fidelity.  Over many years, there have been many former parishioners from this Church, who chose to leave this fellowship: Somebody hurt them; somebody insulted them; they didn’t like the clergy; they didn’t like the music; they didn’t like the Episcopal Church, and on and on, and on.  BUT, there is a far larger group of people who chose to stay, who chose to work through the problems, who chose forgiveness over resentment, who chose loyalty and fidelity in this church, because this is their family and you do not give up on family. And because of them, many old wounds here are being healed; reconciliation is happening, and commitments and recommitments are being renewed.

So God the Father brings life, God the Son bring loyalty, and God the Spirit shine the Light of love into a dark world.  Jesus calls his disciples the light of the world, not because they were the brightest bulbs in the pack, which they were not.  But they are light because they had God’s love in their hearts—and He sent them to share that love , through the power of the Holy Spirit, in their homes, neighborhoods, places of employment, in their nation, and in the world.
·       This weekend, we remember soldiers of light.  Soldiers offered themselves to die for us, and in doing so they brought the light of hope to a war torn earth.  Now, many of those soldiers were not Christian, but because they all had the divine spark within them, they acted like Jesus did.  ..Jesus, who said, “No greater love do you have than this, that a man or a woman would lay down their lives for their friends.” And this weekend, we honor that love.
·       Here at Christ church, we are dedicated to sharing that light of love, as we express in our Vision statement.  Please repeat after me:  CCQF—shining the light of Christ’s love through our church and into the world.
·       Last Sunday, 100 men/women/ children committed and recommitted to love you by volunteering to serve this church.  Kids and grandparents, and everyone in between.  And I bet more of you will sign up today, because you do not just want to be served by these people, you want to serve them, too.
·       By serving each other, in the power of the Holy Spirit, we shine the light of love within this community, and in the world. 
So, God is life, loyalty, and light---the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Our God is an awesome God, who gives you all this, because you are important to God.  And now, let us all tell God that He is important to us. 

---The Rev. John Donnelly