Civility: A Sermon
The Rev. John Donnelly, Christ Church
Quaker Farms, Oxford, CT. Feb.19, 2017
The follow is an exert from a column by Leonard Pitts, Jr, which is entitled,
“Whatever happened to that quaint relic called ‘Civility’”?
Can we be candid here? The
public is a bunch of rude, obnoxious jerks.
Yes, there are exceptions. I am
not such a bad guy and you, of course, are a paragon of civility. But the rest of them? A cavalcade of boors,
boobs, buns & bozos.
So, it is small wonder that the tale of Steven Slater has hit a
nerve. Slater, a flight attendance for
Jet6blue, got into it with a women who cursed him when he asked her not to
stand up and retrieve her bags while the plane was still taxiing. At some point, Slater was apparently hit in
the head; his attorney says the woman slammed the storage bin on him.
This is much is for certain: Slater went to the plane’s public address
system and, as quoted by one witness, declared, “To the passenger who just
called me a ___ _____, I ‘ve been in
this business 28 years and I have had it.”
He then grabbed a beer from the service cart, deployed the plane’s
evacuation slide, slid down to the tarmac and drove home. He was arrested soon after.
To concede the obvious: Yes, it was a dumb stunt. He’s lucky no one on the ground was injured
by the slide. But still...it seems to
me that the episode speaks more pointedly
to the growing incivility in all our daily lives.”
Now I read this column while we were in San Francisco several years
ago. I read it the same day that we were
caught in a horrible downtown traffic jam.
I kept trying to change lanes so that I could get off at my exit—but no
one would let me in. L I couldn’t believe it. To be honest, despite the bad rap about New
Jersey drivers, I never have trouble in switching lanes. I find that people understand that we are all
in this traffic jam together, and that most drivers are happy to let you head
of them in line.
BUT NOT IN CALIFORNIA!!! No way! They see you trying to switch lanes
and they put their foot on the accelerator, just to make you move out of the
way.
After this happened about 5 times in a row, a bunch of 4 letter words
were beginning to form in my mouth. But,
my family was with me, so I just bit my tongue.
Instead, I yelled a lot.
Recent polls report that three quarters of Americans are disturbed and
annoyed by the increasing amount of disrespectful, rude, and uncivil behavior
throughout our land.
Let’s review this for a moment:
1.
It used to be that it was an exception when
children openly defied their parents and teachers. Now, it’s a national pass time. Such defiance is how kids can become popular.
2.
In the past, our television heroes were
Superman, Gunsmoke’s Matt Dillion, and Dr. Quin, Medicine Woman. Today, our
television heroes include
·
The drug dealer hero from “Breaking Bad”;
·
Dr. Dexter, who murders people each episode;
·
“The Real promiscuous wives from wherever”;
·
And Lucifer, the loveable devil.
3.
Children used to bully other children on the
playground. Now, they will anonymously
post lies and attacks on social media so that the whole school can laugh at the
joke. Unfortunately, these vicious
pranks have had some utterly tragic results involving suicide.
However, the rude behavior , which most pollsters say upsets most
Americans is the use of cell phones in public places. You can be minding your own business at a
restaurant or a store, and the loudest voice you hear is some wind bag talking
on his/her cellphone, as if by yelling, their party will be able to hear them
better; unaware that he or she is annoying everyone else.
Of course, America’s most uncivil activity is politics. It is a shame, but civil discourse about the
issues that impact us all seems almost impossible, not just in Washington, but
even in daily conversations that you and I might have. Such discussions can degenerate into name
calling, personal attacks, interruptions, shouting, and demonization.
WHAT ARE GOOD PEOPLE TO DO?
I have been influenced on this topic by Stephen Carter, who is a Yale
professor and an advocate for renwed civility in public life. Carter defines civility as , “the sacrifices that we make for the sake of
living together.” Carter says
that we all need to make sacrifices in our speech and behavior for the common
good. It’s a question of not thinking
about our own rights and freedom, but focusing our manners, our behavior , and
our language in a way that expresses consideration and respect for all people.
To many abuse our freedom of speech and freedom to act, without taking
responsibility for the hurt that we may inflict upon others.
Do you know that apparently the term “incivility” is based on an ancient
Greek word meaning, “Not to be a citizen.”
All inconsiderate, indifferent, and rude behavior & speech weaken
our institutions and our relationships.
Recently I received a birthday card which encouraged me about
this. The cover of the card featured a
large birthday cake with about 150 candles, all over the page. The inside of the card read, ”The more
birthdays you , the more you glow.” I believe
that it is up to us adults, of all ages, especially Christians, to lead the
way. Jesus commands us to love our
neighbors as ourselves. Even though we disappoint & hurt Him by our own inconsiderate
speech and actions, He forgives us. He
died on the cross and rose from the dead, that we might show the world that we
are Christians by our love. And the
civility that Jesus wants from us
involves not just doing no harm; but making sacrifices for the good of others.
A number of years ago , there was a wonderful movie called, “Pay it
Forward.” In the movie, a ten year old
boy does random acts of kindness for the people he meets. The recipients were so touched, that they
wanted to pay him back. But the boy said, “Don’t pay it back. Pay it
forward. Be kind to someone else>” Well, the recipients were so touched that
they went and did as they boy suggested; and soon, random acts of kindness caught
on. People were surprised and delighted
by the unexpected kindness shown them, that they went and did likewise.
I saw this phenomena within my own life, a number of years ago when I
was a hospice chaplain. Our office was
located in a state hospital for the mentally and physically handicapped; and it
was not a happy place. Some of the
employees called it “the kingdom of darkness. “Indeed, I was surprised that on
my first day, no one smiled, no one looked up when passing me, and no one greeted
me. Well, this went on for a while,
until I decided that I was just going to get into everybody’s face with
kindness. As they looked down at the
floor while passing me, I’d say, “Hello.
Hope you have a good day.” I
greeted people in the hallway of my office on a daily basis, and soon they
began to greet me back. I began to see
more smiles. While, my floor became down
right friendly. Now, I am sure that this
was not due to me alone—but my contribution certainly helped.
So, you , to, can see this, even if you are considerate to perfect
strangers. They may be grateful, or not;
besides, you will probably find that Jesus will be the one to pay you back.
