Thursday, April 21, 2016

Jesus' 3 Step Method to Confict Resolution

During the first several centuries, anno domini, the civilized church stood back in awe and wonder as they watched the Christian church in action.  The Apostolic Church started very quietly—but grew in strength, power, and numbers until millions of people of different languages and nations came together, even uniting bitter enemies. People were attracted to the dynamic and enthusiastic & sacrificial love—which was shared by the rank and file, as they loved one another the way that Jesus loves them.

This type of love—when shared and received, has to the power to change and transform both the giver and the receiver.    Ever since I was 10, I have been a star trek fan; we call ourselves trekkies.  I recently saw a new updated you tube episode, which picks us where the original series left off.

An alien was brought on board ot the Starship Enterprise.  He was very old, and his life energy was draining away.  If things didn’t turn around, he would be facing death shortly.  Well, in the meantime there was a massive power surge throughout the starship’s electrical system, which electrocuted Lt. Uhura, he communications officer.  Within minutes she died, and there was nothing that Doctor McCoy could do  nothing to save her.   However, the alien came over to the dead body, and laid hands upon her, as if in prayer.  Suddenly, electricity flowed straight to through his hands and into her body.  The alien collapsed, and Uhura was revived!   But the ending was shocking. Instead of depleting the life energy of the alien to the point death, the alien found that his life energy had been totally res a state of health!!  So by sharing his life energy, he received even more.  At the end of the episode, Captain James Kirk philosophized, saying, “Self-sacrifice—it is the greater power in the universe.  You make sacrifices for others, and then you become a recipient from your own generosity.”

Well, by the time that that episode was over, I was left wondering if the author was a Christian?  This  is the Good news of Jesus Christ in a nutshell.  We are spiritually dead.  Jesus gives his life on the cross to redeem us.  In this ultimate act of love, He restores our life force through reconciliation with God; the Risen Lord becomes the supreme source of eternal life energy.  and Jesus becomes mightier than ever as the Risen Lord.

So, how does this apply to us?  We are commanded to share our love/our eternal life energy in at least one specific way:  We are called to be agents of reconciliation.  Would you please take out your sermon notes and let us read # 2—which describes the chief work of God’s people: “All people who are of God, who have been reconciled to himself by Jesus Christ, are given to the ministry of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18).

Today I want to focus on just one piece of this ministry, by reflecting upon occasions when either you or I are in a state of conflict with others. Interpersonal conflict ravages families, communities, schools, churches, places of employment, politics, and international affairs…and sometimes, we get caught up in it in our own little worlds.  And while the conflict between nations may involve more people, our own conflicts can sour or end relationships, adversely affecting others we care about who become the unintended consequences.

The Good News is Jesus has provided a three step process for us to use in seeking reconciliation.  It is outlined in Matthew 18, can printed on point # 3 in your sermon notes:

(1)        Jesus said, “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend.
(2)        If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again.
(3)        If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
 “Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal.—Matthew 18:15-20

So, let us look at step # 1.  When hurt, we have a choice to forgive that person in our heart, and to mean it; or to try to work it out, with an aim for seeking reconciliation.
We can agree to disagree.  We can take the initiative to better communicate, so that misunderstandings can be constructively understood, that we might relate to one another.  And you know what, this will benefit you as much as the other person.  Years ago, I judged the actions of a friend, which I was so certain he received as condemnation.  After that, I did not see him, but secretly felt guilty about it for ten years, when I met him again.  Well, of course he immediately forgave me…and I can remember that sense of freedom and friendship restored, which blew me off my feet.  There are too many relationships where friendship has been replaced by estrangement.  Give step one a try---seek reconciliation one to one.
Step# 2—if that doesn’t work, then bring in a 3rd party.   18 years ago, my wife and I were mad at each other…to the point that our children demanded that we seek marriage counseling.  It worked.  I had no idea how badly we had been miscommunicating and hurting each other.  Our marriage has been all the stronger sense.   Try having a 3rd party come speak to you.
The final step: Take it to the leaders of the Church—the wardens, the Rector, or someone you admire.  This step has to do with the authority over which you have entrusted your life, as a Christian, or as an employee, or whatever.  Now, the purpose of this is not punitive, in my view.  Rather, it is an opportunity for better encouragement to constructively and creatively resolve conflicts. It is an opportunity for you to listen to wisdom, which might not come from your peers and your circle of friends.  And as one who has waded into the turbulent waters of troubled relationships, I know that this can help because I have seen it happen.

“Love one another, as I have loved you.”  Jesus supplies the power of his love when we seek His ways of reconciliation and peace.  May we all seek to follow the ways of the Prince of Peace.  Amen.

The Rev. John Donnelly     Easter 5 (c)  2016

Friday, April 8, 2016


DO YOU LOVE ME?


Easter 3 year C


Today in our first reading, we hear of the classic story of the conversion of St. Paul on the road to Damascus.  While this story is dramatic and dynamic, for most other Christians, our commitment to Christ happens more slowly, over the course of time.   But not infrequently, sometimes when we pray, we can actually imagine hearing God’s voice, as the fellow in the following story did.

My name is Pete Simmons.  This past Sunday, I was minding my own business, sitting church during the service, and hearing the readings from the Bible.  We were listening to the time that the Resurrected Jesus met His disciples at the Sea of Galilee.  Anyway, the reader read this part,

‘Jesus said, “Peter, do you love me more than you love your friends here? “Peter replies, “Of course, you know that I love you, Lord.”  Then Jesus says, “Feed my sheep.” 

“What a strange thing to say,” I thought.  It sounds like Jesus is giving animal husbandry advice. The priest continued,

” Once again, Jesus asked, “Peter do you love me?”  Peter replies, “Master, you know that I love you.”  Jesus replied, “Care for my lambs.  Feed my sheep.”

Now as that was being read, I started thinking that Jesus really doesn’t trust this guy, or He is worried that Peter is too dense to understand.    Next, we heard,
Jesus said once again, Peter do you really love me?”

Wow.  What’s that?  This was somewhat shocking, but when I heard those words read, I felt like I was the person being addressed…...   Not the St. Peter of the scriptures, but me, the unsaintly Pete Simmons.  I don’t understand this. Was the priest looking at me when she read those words? But then, in my mind, I hear the question, again,” Pete Simmons, do you love me?”   Well, the sermon began and I tried to listen, but that question kept repeating itself in my mind.  Suddenly, the shock had worn off, & I consider the question:   Do I love Jesus?   Do I love God. Well, I guess I do.  I try to live a good life.  I attend church, at least once a month or so. My children were baptized here.  I contribute an annual pledge to the church.  Does that mean that I love God?

Or maybe I really don’t?  Maybe I am just too apathetic.   Do I love Jesus?  I have never seriously considered it and no one has ever asked the question.    Previously, I thought I did. I thought my actions said it all.   But now, I am not so sure.  Suddenly, I was reminded of the time, before we were married, when I first told my future wife that I loved her.  That changed everything.  She replied that she also loved me, and then we both knew that each of us had found our soul mate.   Love can be a powerful word. That was great……. but I don’t think that I have ever told Jesus that I love him, at least like that.

Then, in my imagination, I see an image of Jesus.  He is smiling.  However, I feel like He is looking right through me…and that He knows my inner turmoil.   Then, Jesus asks me, “PETE, do you love me?”

I am rather startled by the question.  I am not quite sure what to say, so I just imagine saying, “I want to love you.  I know that you died and rose from the dead to forgive me of my sins, so that I can have eternal life.”
·       Next I feel ashamed, and I reply, “Jesus, to be honest, it seems to me that most of the time, I sort of ignore you.   I have received so many blessings, and yet I complain that I do not have enough. I haven’t thanked you.  I have just gone about my business, not thinking about you.  Jesus, I am sorry.”

Jesus smiles again. I started to feel better—to feel relieved…and I felt a smile coming to my face.  I prayed, “Thank you.    Yes, Lord, I sincerely love you.’

Jesus smiles back, “Then Pete, feed my sheep.”  And then I am left wondering what that means, “To feed his sheep.”

So, I wonder, “Who are God’s sheep?”

My image of Jesus replied, “Look around.  You can see them.”

Suddenly, the whole congregation is standing and hugging and shaking hands…exchanging the ‘Peace of the Lord.’  Now, I just stand up in the pew, shake a few hands, and then sit back down again.   Okay.  Now I get it.  His sheep are the folks in this room.  Now previously when the priest called us the church family, I didn’t think that I was a part of it. But I guess that I am one of his sheep, along with the others here.  So that makes sense.  As I sit back down, I continue thinking about this, and then I wonder, “How am I to feed them?”

Jesus seems to reply, “Look around.”

At that point, one of the ushers comes to my pew, signaling that then was the time to go up for communion. Now I am starting to make some connections.  Jesus feeds us with his body and blood, and tells us to feed his sheep.    After I receive, I walk back to my seat and kneel in prayer.  “I still don’t understand, Lord,” I pray.  Jesus replies, “Look how others are feeding sheep all around you.  Look how others are serving you.”
·       I look up and see the Ministers of Communion. Well, I certainly don’t want to do that.  I looked at the Acolytes.  I remembered when I was an acolyte as a   I felt like I was making a contribution.  I don’t feel that way now. In fact, all I do is come to the church, sit in the pew, and let others do things for me.  Too be honest, other than sitting in the pew, which I think is important, I really have not lifted a finger to help out.
·       I then look at the Ushers.  I could do that.  I suddenly realize that Jesus has feed me with communion, and that I want to help out.  I want to serve.
·       When announcement time comes, one fellow stood up and talked about a Spring Clean Up day the following Saturday.  It sounded kind of fun, with lunch as a bonus.  Maybe I will come.

I feel different as I left the church. Instead of just rushing out, like I normally do, I actually spoke with some of the folks as we are leaving the church.   I went downstairs for a cup of coffee.  As I am just sitting down, Steve comes over and asks me to come to the clean-up day. I don’t know Steve well, but was he ever happy when I told him that I would come.”

And you know what?  It made me feel good inside.


This week I thought about what happened.  I can say, Yes, I love you Lord and I will find ways to serve you because of that love.  

By the Rev. John Donnelly

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Maundy Thursday, 2016

Jesus commands, please repeat after me, ”I command you.//  Love one another, // just as I have loved you."
·       No, Jesus, I don’t want to love him. I want to ignore him.  I think e is a jerk. Jesus says, pls repeat after me, ”Love one another,// as I  have loved you.”
·       No Jesus, I don’t want to love her.  She has gossiped about me, for years.”
Jesus says, pls repeat after me, ”Love one another//, as I  have loved you.”
·       For years and years I have done all the giving in our relationship.  I have had it.
Jesus says, pls repeat after me, ”Love one another, //as I  have loved you.”
·       He’s so scary and different. He doesn’t belong here.  I don’t know much about him, but people like him are at war with my country.
Jesus says, pls repeat after me, ”Love one another, //as I  have loved you.”

There are hundreds of reasons for not loving people in our lives. There is only one reason to do so; and that is the command of Jesus.   I know that for years, I accumulated grudges, prejudices,  fears, and the desire for revenge towards some people in my life, including some ofthose who have gone toothier final reward.   I buried it all deep within my heart.  I said to myself, “Well, I have made peace with that person,  and the other, and another…… so I can just move on.”  But it was a lie.  I had not made peace with that person, or this person, and many others.
So I lied to myself and lied to God.  Now, I am not telling you what to do.  But last summer I took a day and a half to make a list of all the people who had hurt me, offended me, and betrayed me.  This list went back 25 years!   And in obedience to Jesus command, I forgave them—not necessarily because they deserved it, but because Jesus commands us to love one another the way He loves us---and the first way He loves us, is through the blood of the cross, He forgives us.

What was the result?  A huge burden was lifted from me.  I felt relived.  I found myself jut naturally improving my relationships and home, church, and in the community.  I have been more open and trusting.

Jesus says, “Love one another as I have loved you.”  I wonder if there is somebody   that Jesus wants you to forgive on this Holy Night?  I bet if we paused for a minute of silence, as we are going to do now, the Lord will bring someone to mind. (silence).
·       Now if no one has come to mind, then you might need to pray more about this.
·       Now frankly, you may not feel ready to forgive the person who came to your mind….yet. 
·       But in either case speak to Jesus about it right now.  Tell Jesus you choose to forgive a this person, or ask Jesus to help you to forgive this person---right now in another moment of quiet.


And now that we have spoke to Jesus in the quietness of your hearts, let us confess our sins against God and our neighbor, using the form on page 393.

THE BIG LIE

So, how many friends do you have? P Last time I counted, I had 452. P One of my children has 2,451, while the other has close to 3,000.  There are teenagers in this church who have even more.

If you have guessed it by now, I am not speaking about LIVE friends, with whom you interact, face to face.  I’m talking about virtual Facebook friends.  There many internet social networks, of which Face Book is only one.  These networks have taken our nation by storm, as people electronically connect with people all over the world.

I remember

I know of  some teenagers who competed to get  the most  facebook friends.  This has become an obsession, as people are “friending” people they have never met.

These networks connect literally billions and billions of people as active users.  I wonder why?  Is it just because this is a new and exciting fad? P I wonder if part of the success that these social networks can be attributed to what I perceive as a pervasive loneliness in our society.  The late Nobel peace prize winner, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, once said that LONELINESS is the root of all problems.  Maybe FB & the other networks are so popular because of what they are selling, which is  quote friendship, unquote. P  And virtual friendships are better than none.

Of course, there are many downsides to these social networks.  Just ask Sarah.  Sarah was a teenage girl, who had Face Book  friended some girls at  her new school. For some reason, the girls turned against her, and started calling her “ugly,” “slut,” & “whore” on facebook, where everyone could read it.   They continued this cyber bullying, until they were caught and made to stop by the school and their parents.  But, P the damage had been done.  Sarah grew to believe all those names that she had been called, and her self-esteem was shattered. P She felt like her life was ruined.

However, hundreds of millions of people in our land feel like Sarah, even if they are not on Face Book. Countless people across our land  have grown to believe what I call, ‘THE BIG LIE.”  P Coming from many different people  and institutions, The Big Lie , simply communicated, is this: YOU ARE UNIMPORTANT. YOU DO NOT MATTER.  FOR SOME UNKNOWN, BUT TOTAALY FALSE REASON,  YOU ARE “NOT LIKEABLE.” You see, in our day and time, we hear the Big Lie over and over  again by words & deeds to the point that we come to actually believe it.
·       The Big Lie can be  communicated by :name calling; cold shoulders;  gossip; sexism; racism & discrimination.
·       How many times do people, whom we have trusted, have said that we
are not important by betraying our trust?  Parents, spouses, children, supervisors, teachers, neighbors, clergy, un-civil servant, and others make this message all too clear. P
·       When was the last time that you were given the run around by the IRS, the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, or your cable company, or the board of education, or your medical insurance company?    Do you feel important to them? P
·         And of course, voter anger in this primary season is rooted in the belief  that many people do not feel that they are  important to their elected officials. P  .
·       Other times we may have a disagreement with someone , and we get hit below the belt.
·       This happens on a cultural level, too:   5 Years ago I was an advisor on a Youth retreat at my previous church.  The topic was self esteem.  During the course of the weekend, all 13 girls in attendance (ages 12-18) confessed that they believed that they were fat & ugly   Where did that come from?  These girls were all lovely and thin. Where did that come from, for heavens’ sake  !

Now, this BIG Lie is thousands of years old, P AND JESUS OPPOSED IT WITH EVERYTHING WITHIN HIM; because he could see that THE BIG LIE results in spiritual, emotional, and even physical devastation.  During His life time on earth,  His people were ruled by the totalitarian & blood-thirsty  Roman Empire.
The Romans communicated to Jesus’ people that they were unimportant to them through cruel & unjust punishment, the exploitation of the weak,
the rape of women, excessive and crippling  taxation,
and widespread hunger and poverty

P By word and deed, Jesus demonstrated that His people back then, and all of us now,  ARE IMPORTANT TO GODmore important than traditions & institutions;  more important  EGOSTISTICAL KNOW-IT-ALLS, & MORE IMPORTANT THAN  IMPORTANT THAN 2 BIT BULLIES.
         

Jesus started out by befriending those who were the lowly of society: outcasts, prostitutes, thieves, crooked tax collectors, the old, the young, the sick and the poor. He reached out to these most down trodden  people during His time on earth,//  to demonstrate to all people, for all time,// that  God deeply loves each of us,// and that we are of immense worth to Him. God let his SON  descend into the violence of the Big Lie, that He might lift up you and me.
·       His enemies denounced Him & His ministry. They said that he was so bad that He didn’t even deserve to live. So,  Jesus , Himself, took the full force of the Big lie, which killed Him on the cross. P P  But Jesus, who was the Truth, rose from the dead to show  that the truth is always stronger than a lie.
·        God is reaching out to all of us, that within our hearts we might replace the big lie with the truth that you are so important to the King of the universe, that he is here, ready, & able and willing to COMFORT and CONSOLE ,
TO HEAL AND RENEW, if you give him the chance.

And how does Jesus want to reach out to you with His love? P He primarily does it through his friends.  For 3 years, Jesus taught his 12 friends how to be friends of others in order to build them up in the love of Christ.  So, on the last night before Jesus was to die, He spoke to his friends and said these words, which I would ask for you to repeat after me:  “love one another// the way that I loved you.  //Put your life for your friends.”  Then Jesus went on to say, “ Do what I have taught you, and I will call you my friends.”  P These words resulted in a
huge  international friendship movement started that night, and it has spread and spread for two thousand years.

Christ Church is dedicated to shining the Light of Christ’s love through new friendships.   God has reached out to many of our members to help heal, console, comfort, and renew us in His amazing love. Many of us are refugees from other churches that either put us down, or ignored us, or bored us to death with dreary worship  & music. Over the past 5 years, we have worked to build up a church family that welcomes all people. Period…because Jesus loves all people and commands us to do likewise. And we strive to be friends that build up, because we discovered that we are important to God and we believe that you are , too.  P  And as we grow in His love through joyful worship, spiritual growth, and cheerful giving and serving, we have created a community where all people are welcomed and loved, whether you come one time, twice, or if you decide to join us on a regular basis.

How does this work?  Well, let me continue the story of, Sarah, who was  emotionally traumatized by her “so-called- friends.”  Sarah’s family are active in church, so they knew immediately what to do.
·       Sarah and her parents met with me, so that I could provide some initial
crisis counseling for them all.
·       Sarah’s parents found prayer and support from their small bible study group, who spoke with them, listened to them, and encouraged them.
·       Sarah herself is a member of the church Youth Group, whose advisors counseled her and built here up in love. P
·       Through all this support system, Sarah began to believe that her “so called friends “ were wrong and that indeed, she is important to God.  Her confidence has grown.  After withdrawing socially after the initial crisis, Sarah is now  becoming much more outgoing.

And this happens not just for teens, but for the rest of us as well.

·       You see, if we go solo, the world can and will break us apart.

·        But if we join other friends of Christ together, we are much stronger---and we can denounce the BIG Lie---and grow in the wisdom and friendship of Jesus and one another, because , please repeat after me:  WE ARE IMPORTANT TO GOD.     --3/16